We’re thrilled to announce the official pre-release of Andrew Brininstool’s debut collection, Crude Sketches Done In Quick Succession. To celebrate, we’ve asked Andrew to tell two truths and a lie a lie about the stories, the book, and apparently some of his questionable choices involving tequila:
Two Truths and a Lie
- Gordon’s invention came to me in a dream.
I don’t put much stock in dreams, but Gordon and his invention came to me in the minutes before I awoke. He spoke to me of Daily Constitutionals, a technologically advanced potty-training seat that teaches little ones the Bill of Rights. I want to say Gordon spoke to me about this without sounding like I am a psychopath. That afternoon, I sat down and began “Young Arsonists in Love.”
- I got on the wrong side of a shaman once.
If you know anything about me, you know I have two enormous passions: travel, and rock climbing. For my sixty-eighth birthday, a colleague, M___ and I climbed the Andes Mountains. What with M___ and I having years of experience beneath our belts, we chose to forego guides. And didn’t we both have egg on our faces when, on the fourth day of our climb, an enormous blizzard wrapped all of the highlands of Ecuador in snow! With some luck, we captured and cleaned a tapir, and feasted on its haunches for three days, burrowed inside a cave while the storm refused to pass. Once it did pass and the sun came out, silly me, I slipped on a rock and severely tweaked my knee. Not so bad, perhaps, except that we were dangerously low on supplies and tapir, come to find out, does not agree with me. With grace and much compassion, M___ carried me to Illuman, a town known for the curandero. Even as the doctor asked me to strip to my boxers—even as he smoked what May Have Been Weed But Did Not Smell Like Weed At All and played with a little bell—I knew I was on a spiritual journey. I was changing.
And then the dude started spitting tequila in my face.
- Among all the lovely people who have helped me or encouraged me or loved me or the like, I’ve also added a major shout-out to KTCK 1310 AM The Ticket in Dallas, for when I am not writing I am keeping my ears listening.
Now, behold, as Queen’s Ferry Press’ Marketing & Publicity, Kevin Wehmueller, turns a bad poem into an even worse origami snake:
You ordered Crude Sketches Done In Quick Succession. You got a bad poem in the mail. What should you do with it, you ask? You should probably frame it, but making an origami snake out of “What’s At Stake” comes in at a close second.
First, take your poem:
You’ll need a square sheet of paper, so cut that bad boy down to size:
Flip it over and fold diagonally:
Fold the other corners to the center line:
Repeat one more time:
By now, you shouldn’t be able to read the poem, which is a huge improvement. Fold your progress in half:
From the wide end, fold up enough to make the head of your snake:
Next, do a reverse inside fold:
Fold the head down on one side:
And again, reverse inside fold:
Theoretically you now have a snake. If it looks anything like mine at this point, congratulations. You also have the dexterity of a six year-old. But we’re not done, because we’re going to make this baby slither. Repeat the process of fold, reverse inside fold (seriously what the hell does this mean?) three to four times along the spine:
Well, well, well, look at that. Is it a snake, or a stake? Are they really so different? Not when I make them. Congratulations! Now go read Crude Sketches Done In Quick Succession.